apology

hubert is right.
i shouldnt have cyber bullied..
sighs.
i am always cyber bullying.
I PROMISE
I MUST STOP THAT.
I PROMISE..
and from now on.
no more bad words on my blog (:
including "damn"
aww.. that inevitable word..

and there's a thing i must clarify.
i dont dare to insult a teacher..
cuz i seriously dont have the guts to do it.
cvb not equals to cb leh.. o.O
chickenverybig aint a bad word D;

dislike and insult makes a VERY BIG difference..
i love you hubert.
thanks for pulling me into the right track again.
although i always go off track.
like last year.. i hurt my classmate before..
this year the same thing again.
what can change me fully?
yea,what the hell is my problem..
i am just such a -toot-

its a whole four pages..
i dont get offended by this cuz its true and i knew i was wrong.
i always say that people have no right to scold me.
i think i forget to apply that same thing to myself.
do i have the right to do the same?
NO.
i dont at all.
and WHY did i still do that?
i am just doing what others do to me.
what's the difference of me from them?
there's no difference at all.
i am just as -toot- as them ..

i totally forgot what is my role.
build class spirit was ONE of them.
and i knew i WILL screw this ONE objective up.
like i asked.
what the hell you people see in me?
i knew it since that day..
it's a wrong choice.
u all should have knew what kind of person i was.
i changed.
drastic changes.
is it that u guys dint notice it or what?
did i even scold that eff word last year?
i told you all that it's not a good idea.
cuz there's this bias-ness in all people.
i shouldnt be siding with anyone in the class.
that's the point..
must "gong si fen ming"
and there's much to learn about this of cuz.
i always mixing things up.
this is why i am not suitable for that.
i knew it.
blah.
u dont rmb this right?
sighs
maybe u dint even know about how i felt at first.

i told you.
i aint nice at all .
sighs.

bear in mind.
i am just looking for excuses.
i will face it.
becuz of what i did.
i must take it no matter what it takes.
i will be not so mean ..
and i MUST.
it's a PROMISE.
like how i controlled myself in january this year.
those posts in jan..
are different.
and those last year ones..
are even more @.@

what i did was just merely excuses for what i did.
i will think thru it tonight.
and i try not to cry today.
or tmr.
if i want to cry.
i will cry during march camp.
march camp tmr.
i am going to have a SHIOK 3D2N

another climax in my life.
i will face it.
i can dislike.
but not insult.
i am mean.
i am black.
sighs.
i need brainwashing.
he did half of it.
i will do the other half myself.
time to talk to myself.
what can i do.
i can just use a sorry..
to just like bury all those hatchets.
no.
i cant do that.

becuase.
i know my problem now.
it's time to think about it.
there's no way i can make up to it.
there are 7 more months to go.
will they forgive me?

__________________________

todae.
was bad.
all except during swimming..
when we played in the pool..
was extremely fun..
todae seriously was bad..
what am i to them?
i always wonder.
is it relli my fault?
in their eyes.
what do i mean to them?
i dont understand.
i am so bored.
i wanna talk to some one.
and i did !
just now.. and now.. still chatting..
THANKS GEOK..
I love you..
i relli do.
are there relli true frens in ur life that will accompany u to walk forever?
or they just walk into ur life for a moment and walk away?

i know my skirt is short.
just becuz i know my butt is big then it looks short.
sighs.
i hate my butt okay?
i dont think anyone like to have big butts bah..
then how?
waste $$ to extend the skirt..
sighs.
my $$~~..

nevermind.
todae..
hanyu..
I am relli SORRY
*bangs my head on the wall
i am sorry.
for not going to lunch with you and zhenghan.
i am relli sorry.
sorry hanyu.
sorry hanyu.
sorry hanyu..
D;
i am sorry..

there are just too many different people in the world.
with too many different views.

i shall stay strong.
thank you geok for giving me the courage.
thanks ..
face the music.
what is true courage?
this is courage.
haha.
am i being lame again?

i'd put my troubles here.
and not insult people anymore.
not in my life sounds too BIG.
where necessary sounds too sui bian..
i will CONTROL myself.
for the sake of everyone.
ENDURE.

what has eaten up my heart?
i lost it.
i am sorry for being indifferent towards you boy.
speechless.
why ...
i dint want to even say a "hi"
cuz there are only "bye" in btw us.
it must come to an end someday.
unless ..
i relli love him.
but i am too young to understand what is love..

should go and think now.
is it possible to change again?
yes.
if i want to.
the thing is that.
what changed me in the first place?

that's a link to the question..

ARE REVOLUTIONS MADE OR DO THEY JUST HAPPEN?
anyways..
todae history rawk.. other than me sleeping in class @.@
oops.
sorry..
:X

science..
MDM ONG IS IN CLASS~
:X
I would never say that Ms Foo dont teach well..
:D

Maths ..
I love Ms Lee..
although her method abit laggy..
i went to her last time.
her explanation was good.
i mean it.
(:
even he says that o.O
i mean he,yea as in he..
okay,i dont wanna do wrong things.
keith teo and zhihe.
both he-s.
you know she spot my mistake in like 3 seconds?
O.O
omg.
MS LEE RAWK.

speech and drama.
i wasnt giving my best.
i was just going up there and ... reading..
without the script.
and ms suelin said i can do it o.O
i was stunned cuz i never knew i was a good actor..
yea,i acted playlet D.. as the father.
and ms suelin said i did a good job.
so yea,do you get it?
the characteristics of the father..
is um..
so ~~
like me :X
oops.

HCL was about many things.
cant rmb.

do we ever realise that we are always making mistakes?
do we ever realise that we are always wrong?
no matter who we are.
we are always wrong.
there's no one in this world who can perfect everything.
once u gain something.
u ought to lose something.
maybe what u lose ... was more than what u gain..
was it worth it?

in words.
they are harmful.

change what u think of me.



9.53PM sighs.. march camp shall be tmr..
good luck my dear Bravos.